


I Want That Highly Dangerous Space Cat In The Window

by orphan_account



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Shore Leave, Space Cats, pet shop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 02:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1922484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maine should know by now never to let Wash into pet shops, especially ones on weird planets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want That Highly Dangerous Space Cat In The Window

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from jesterpissboots- Maine/Wash plus shoreleave

“Look how cute he is!” Wash exclaimed, standing in front of the pet shop on some unknown planet. At least, Maine thinks it’s a pet shop, of sort. The thing in the window is certainly not human or any kind of alien he’s seen before.

 

“I wish we could get him,” Wash continued, sounding disappointed.

“That…thing would eat you,” He comments gruffly. Wash hits his arm. It feels more like a brush of wind.

“He would not! He would love me. Wouldn’t you boy?” Wash asks the creature through the window. Maine’s face twists in disgust, partly because of how hideous and terrifying the said creatures is and partly because he has how cute he thinks Wash looks right now. The man’s nose is scrunched up in an adorable way and his voice is airy and light. Maine kinda wants to kiss him right now, but he refuses to. They’re soldiers, space marines, they shouldn’t find things cute. Especially not something like that.

“Think we could sneak him on the Mother of Invention?” Wash asks suddenly. Maine growls and shakes his head firmly.

“Awwww, come on. It’ll be fun,” Wash insisted.

“Let’s go,” Maine ordered, grabbing Wash’s hand and starting to walk away. The shorter soldier pouts, sticking out his bottom lip in a way that’s totally not fucking cute, god damn it. How Wash slipped out of Maine’s grip is still a mystery, but by the time Maine turned around to yell at him, Wash had already vanished into the pet shop. Maine cursed under his breathe. He thought about walking away and leaving Wash behind, but he couldn’t risk something happening to the little idiot. With a huff followed by a sigh Maine followed after Wash into the pet shop.

The inside held things that were even worse than what they saw from the window. Animals, if they could even be called animals, covered the shelves in different size cages. Some had razor sharp teeth and huge bodies while others had three eyes and spiked tongues. Overall, everything around him was terrifying. Maine wasn’t truly scared. More worried about Wash being an idiot and getting himself eating, or worse.

“Maine, come look at this one!” Wash called. Maine stormed over to him, grabbed his collar, and started dragging him towards the door.

“Wait! No! They’re so cute! I wanna hold one!” Wash complained, “Please Maine!” The large man froze. He hated when Wash used that word. He didn’t say it often, only using it when he really wanted something, like now. They had a deal that if one of them said please, the other had to listen.

“Just one?” Maine clarified, giving Wash a sharp look. The shorter man nodded quickly.

“That one!” He said, pointing to the hideous creature in the window from earlier. Maine gave a heavy sigh.

“Fine,” He muttered, allowing Wash to walk away towards the alien clerk. Half of him, more than half to be honest, hopes the clerk says no, but after a quick conversation Wash returns with the alien behind him. They open the cage for Wash and carefully pull out the large creature. It looks like a cross between an Earth house cat and a Saturn radioactive lizard. Wash takes the creature, holding it close. It starts licking at the man’s face, making Wash laugh his adorable little laugh. Maine leans his head back and sighs again, cursing his life and his relationship.

“Are you sure we can’t get it?” Wash asked, giving Maine big eyes.

“No,” He replied with hesitation, “Don’t say it. I will murder you right here if you do.” Wash gives him a weak glare before handing the weird cat like creature back to the alien, who puts it away. 

“Can we go now?” Maine asked. Wash nodded.

“Yeah, yeah let’s go,” He agreed, taking Maine’s hand and dragging him out of the shop. They start down the street quietly. After a moment Wash pulled them to a stop, stood on his tiptoes and kissed Maine’s cheek.

“Thank you,” he said softly. Maine gave a shrug as a small grin appeared on his face before he continued to drag Wash down the street.


End file.
